A Fever Dream

You ever watch a film that changes you? I did this summer fresh off tour. I returned home inspired but not enough to put it into anything. Then it happened, I was sitting on tumblr (yes, I still use mine) and stills from a film (Helter Skelter 2012) popped up. I watched the film trying to hold it together, it went from 0 to 100 immediately. Of course, after watching I sought out any reddit forum I could find discussing this film. Only to find out there is also a manga. I bought the manga and read it immediately. The film did an amazing job at staying true to the manga as well. After settling in with all I had consumed I started to think about what drew me to the story anyway. The main character is so evil and self-centered not like me at all. After a second read of the manga i understood. As the story progresses and viewers realize what she sacrificed to become beautiful, that is where i saw my true connection to the story was. As I grow as a DJ the spotlight on me shines brighter and the need to walk in complete confidence and self-love becomes more evident with every new thing I accomplish. I am extroverted, but I have never lived for the attention. I do not mind playing the background at all. Dj'ing has forced me to the front and has forced me to address my insecurities. That is how this collection was born. Sadly, for the film's main character she never addressed her insecurities just masked them.

Helter Skelter Manga

From the vivid neon nights of Tokyo to the glitter and glare of high fashion, Helter Skelter tells the story of Liliko  a top model whose beauty becomes a burden. In the manga, Okazaki writes: “A word before we start: laughter and screams sound very much alike.”  Her body, reconstructed inch by inch, hides a truth few dare to face that the very thing exalted as power can become its own prison.  In Ninagawa’s film adaptation she says, “Beauty means a lot to me… this obsession is something that only women understand.”  The film lingers on saturated hues and maximalist imagery; yet beneath the spectacle it reveals how the industry can devour the individual. 

Inspired by this narrative of beauty, obsession and collapse, my look‑book takes its cue from the maximalist and vibrant palette of Helter Skelter the film. I embraced rhinestones, bold color pops, effortless silhouettes, and the tension between being seen and being free. But while Liliko’s world descended into chaos, this collection responds differently: it reminds us that we don’t have to be consumed. Society’s pressure to shine, transform, perform it can be worn lightly or not at all. These pieces are made to meet you at any level: comfort or glam, stillness or spotlight. They’re a tribute to self‑love and confidence without collapse.

Because when the world tells you to demand attention, you can just wear what feels true, move at your own pace and remember that you are more than the gaze.

Lookbook Photo Credits

Styling/Creative directing and Photography: RoseGawd

Make up/ assitant styling and creative directing: Aime Ramirez

Model: Sydney R.

Helter Skelter 2012